I have had some pretty good things happen to me in the past week or so and I figured since this is my blog it's safe for me to do a little bit of bragging.
The store I work for has been in the process of being sold. The new owners took over two weeks ago. I am loving it! Now don't get me wrong I loved working for the old owners too. They are friends and great people to work for. The environment was great here. The only problem being they only own this one store in this one small town so they couldn't afford to pay us real great. I considered it a trade off; I work for good people in a fun environment in place of making big bucks.
The new owners have several stores all over the state so they have a little more leeway to pay better. I now get commissions based off of every sale I make no matter what it is, in essence I got a pretty good raise. Along with that raise since I am the only one working in this store I am considered a manager of sorts. (I don't manage much since I am my only employee.) With my semi titled job I get a company phone. With it being a company phone it is completely unlimited everything. I can now have all the features I always wanted but could never afford. The only condition is it is to be used for sales at the store. That's not a problem since my phone is always with me.
Another big thing that happened completely floored me. I live in a small town with a lot of older farmers. It's kind of hard to sell all the little extras to them. Yesterday we received an email with each store's current rankings in feature sales. My store (with only me working for the most part) was ranked 11 our of 42 in the state! I think I was more surprised then anyone when that email came out. To be fair since we are a smaller store then most I have a smaller quota but we are going to ignore that fact for the purpose of this post.
Another great aspect of my life right now has nothing to do with my job and everything to do with just how lucky I am with my life. I read a blog not long ago and in the comment section it turned towards appreciation by your spouse. I am one lucky woman in that my husband is not shy about letting me know how he feels about me. Every morning after he leaves for work I get a text message from him telling me good morning beautiful, I love you and have a great day. This is the text I woke up to this morning after I told my husband about my day yesterday.

Good morning beautiful, your the best, I'm proud of you, I love you with all my heart and I hope you have a great day!

Out of everything great that has happened to me, my husband is the greatest of them all!

Where do you go when you need to just get away? Billie's
Do you believe everything happens for a reason? Yes
Have you ever thought about moving far away and starting all over? All the time
Who is the one person you can always turn to? Jeff
Have you ever won a raffle? Yes and almost got my ass kicked for it
Have you ever sang in front of a large audience? Way back in grade school
Favorite school field trip as a kid? Stone Mountain, Georgia
Have you ever square danced? Again way back in grade school
How far have you traveled up north? Pennsylvannia
How far south have you traveled? Orlando, Florida
What flavor do you like on your wings? I don't eat wings
Who do you wake up for in the morning? Myself
Who is the last person you took a picture with? I think Dj
Do you think that Global Warming is happening? Yes
Have you or would you ever use and Ouija Board? Yes
Have you ever pretended you were happy around your friends but weren't? Yes
Where would you most like to visit? Alaska
Do you think your ex still likes you? I don't think my ex ever liked me
Describe you ex in three words: Big fat cheater
Have you ever had a pet fish? Yes
Have you ever been home sick? Yes
Who do you want to win the 2008 presidential election? Obama
Do you know the Soulja Boy dance? No
What is the craziest thing you've done with your best friend? Well I can't really tell cause it was illegal.
Who do you think is the most attractive celebrity? Trace Adkins
When is the last time you went to Taco Bell? It's been years
Have you ever licked a 9-volt battery? Oh yeah!
Have you ever ordered from an infomercial? I don't watch them
Is there a message on your voice mail? No
Have you ever made a prank call before? Yes
What's your favorite thing to do over the summer? Cooking out
How many jobs do you have? 2
Don't you hate it when people smoke around you? Only if I don't have any cigarettes
When was the saddest time in your life? When my parents passed away
What is your favorite type of skiing? Water
Who is your favorite family member and why? I don't really have one but Dj says Dylan and Dylan says Dj
Do you like Chinese food? Hell no!
Would you ever be in the Peace Corps? Sure
Do you think you are better then everyone else? Not even close
Would you ever go on a camping trip without your cell phone? Not in this lifetime

Yesterday morning Jeff had to meet his boss at 5:45 am. I won't go into how wrong it was that I had to be up that early and don't have to be at work until 9:00. Anyway, our truck has turned into a massive piece of junk with an attitude. It will only start when it wants to start.
Jeff got in the truck and tried to crank it. Nothing. We sat there for about 10 minutes and the starter just kept dragging wouldn't even pretend to act like it wanted to start. We couldn't get the neighbors to come jump it off because it was 5:30 in the morning and that's just mean to wake someone up like that.
Jeff finally called his boss who came by the house and picked him up. I got to go back to the couch and take a nap before I had to get up. I received a phone call at 7:30 with details on who to call and when to call and all that stuff that apparently as a girl I wouldn't know. I got off the phone and thought I would run out and try it one more time before waking up the neighbors.
I hopped into the truck hit the ignition and it started off without a bit of hesitation! It just goes to prove my point; nothing and nobody wants to be awake at that ungodly hour!

Dj and I went for a walk a few weeks ago. She started telling me about an assignment they had in school. The assignment was to pretend you are an artist and tell how you would illustrate yourself.

She said she sat for a long time and kept thinking about books. She finally decided that was how she would go about it. She wrote that she was a book that you would find in the back of the library, rarely pulled off the shelf, hardly ever read. The cover was dull and not at all interesting. The few people that bothered to check out the book were pleasantly surprised to find the most colorful pages on the inside. They loved the book, it was beautifully written and full of humor. She ended it with the old saying "Never judge a book by its cover."

She went on to tell me that she believes that is exactly how her friendships have been formed. The few people that took the time to get to know her have found that she is bright and shiny on the inside, and quiet and understated on the outside.

I am continually in awe of her self awareness at the age of 16. I hope to someday grow up to be just as smart as her!

This was Dj on one of her up moments last week. It's not a real great picture but you can kind of tell how red her cheeks were from the fever. There were a few times I was really starting to worry about how sick she was. Things just kept piling on with every bit of blood work they did.

Her doctor is an older oriental man. He kept me and her laughing. He tried to talk to her as a doctor but also you could tell he was uneasy with saying somethings to a girl.

He discussed with her the importance of taking care of "pee pee problems" as soon as they occur. You can't just wait around to make urine. He also told her the importance of making a poo regularly. On the day of her initial visit with him he asked her if she could "make urine" for him. When she said yes he handed her a medium sized styrofoam cup to pee in. Her eyes got huge and she told him "Ummm ok."

I was so proud of her while she was in there. She didn't get stupid with the nurses when they tried to do things with her and even after they would wake her up and take blood and vitals she would say thank you as they walked out the door. Several of the nurses commented that they wanted to keep her.

On Friday she woke up to her hand and arm being swollen. Her fingers looked like little sausages dangling from a balloon. They removed the IV and gave her a new toy.

She started telling everyone to beware of the fat hand. We fear the fat hand around the house. The swelling has finally started going down some. I sure am gonna miss the fat hand.

In an attempt to post more and to purge more things out of my brain I have decided that for awhile Mondays will be devoted to memories of my life. I will call it My Memory Monday because I like cheesy titles like that. Some will be good, some bad, some recent, some old, it just depends on what I wake up thinking about.
I don't know if this first one is good or bad. It's bad because Gary is an ass but it's also funny because my brother and I were kinda stupid.
When I was about 12 or 13 Gary's mom sent him a whole bunch of sample packs for cigarettes. Each pack had something like 5 cigarettes in it. They were kept in the unlocked freezer on our unlocked back porch. My brother had severe asthma and couldn't hardly be around a smoker, much less smoke an actual cigarette. I was the rebellious kid and would steal one or two and light them up just to see if I could. I was smart enough to not steal those particular cigarettes because if found it would be known where they came from.
There came a time that the parents decided to tear down part of an old barn in our back yard. In this barn was a platform. (I'm not sure what it was for) Gary went after the platform first. And lo and behold he found not one but two empty packs of those damn cigarettes. We were immediately summoned to stand before him. He started asking us if we had stole them and hid them there.
We both adamantly denied any prior knowledge of the cigarettes, while he adamantly believed it had to be the two of us. As a parent I understand why he believed it to be one of the two of us stealing and smoking them. But also as a parent I know that when my kids are denying something that strongly, I might need to investigate further before I impose sentence.
Let's look at some facts:

1. Frank had asthma.
2. We knew the barn was being torn down. If they were ours we would have moved them.

Our judge, jury, and executioner imposed a sentence of getting our ass busted every night after dinner until one of us confessed to the crime and received our real sentence. The first spanking took place that night. Gary didn't just hit us once and go about his business, he nailed us good. (We didn't receive spankings real often but you can bet we remember them all.) For three nights after we did the dinner dishes we were brought before him and asked if they belonged to us. We said no, he brought out the belt. Finally after the third night mom stepped in. She told Gary that was enough because if we had done it we would have broke by then. He had no choice but to let us off the hook.

Looking back I am sure Gary believed us but was very sadistic and probably just wanted to see if he could break us. My brother and I were both kinda dumb too. If we would have just said "Yup! It was me!" we would have gotten grounded for a week or two and received a no smoking lecture. Yeah, we weren't that bright.

I was thinking about my writing the other day. I know I can write but I lack the want to most of the time. I want to make my blog a better read but I lack the passion it takes to really put much into it.
That thought alone has become something I analyze regularly. I can not say with any honesty that I am really passionate about anything. I obsessively do things for days on end then lose interest in it just as quickly as I started it. A good example of this would be my garden. One Sunday morning I decided I wanted some tomatoes and some peppers. (I don't even eat peppers.) I talked to Jeff constantly about it all morning. He finally said lets go get some plants. We got home and dug up a little spot and planted them. I haven't touched them since. Jeff does everything for it.
I tend to be so laid back most of the time I don't care about a lot of things normal people care about. If my bills are behind I don't sweat it. They will be there when I have the money to pay them. If people are talking shit about me, at first it hurts and I worry a bit about it but, for the most part I can shake it off and not think about it again.
I can't figure it out. I don't think I have commitment issues. I don't think I have ADD. This can't be a good thing, can it? I am going to commit myself to making sure I post every day for the next two weeks just to see if I can make myself care enough about anything to write something decent. (Babysteps)

Dj came home from her dad's last Sunday and was sick. She went to school Monday because it was half a day but came home and went straight to the recliner and sat there sick. She woke me up about 3:30 in the morning asking for more meds. I went back and gave her some Nyquil thinking it would help with her fever and help her to sleep some. She woke up at 8 Tuesday morning and still had fever.
I called the doc and they could get her in at 10:15. She got ready and went to work with me. She was cold inside the building so she went to sit in the truck for awhile. When she finally came in about 9:15 her face was blood red and she was a bit woozy. We headed out early to the doctor's appointment.
We were in the 10 minutes and they rushed us out the back door and straight into the hospital. We just got home this morning.
On top of a very severe kidney infection she had bronchitis and E Coli. (Thanks KFC!) It's been a rough week with lots of antibiotics pumped into her. I will be posting about our stay in the hospital because there was some funny shit that happened!

I won't rehash the story of me and Jeff. If you are interested you can find it here and here.
I failed to mention in my earlier posts that where I live in Oklahoma is a short 12 miles from where Gary grew up. I don't go there a lot for fear of running into his family.
Last November I was once again revisited by my past. I love to eat at Chili's. I had been craving their Monterrey Chicken for weeks. We finally had the opportunity to go there and eat and we invited some friends along with us. We were there long enough to order our food. I looked up because I saw some people walking in and lo and behold if it wasn't Gary. He looked me right in the eye then walked by me and sat two tables away from me with his back to me.
I sat in stunned silence. Was barely able to keep up with the lively conversation at our table. I couldn't take my eyes off of the back of his head. A million things ran through my mind. I tried to tell myself it wasn't him. He was too short, his hair wasn't long enough, he was fatter then Gary. More people showed up to eat with his group. He was turned my way but wouldn't look at me no matter how much I willed him to. I just had to be sure for myself that it was him. I was completely riveted to his face. He finally smiled at someone in the crowd. I saw the familiar wrinkling around his eyes. I knew it was him.
My attention was finally drawn back to our table. My friend's husband was saying something smart ass to me. I picked up a butter knife. I heard Jeff say "What are you doing with that knife?" Then my friend started loudly saying "Get him Jen! Get him!" As she was saying it I looked to Gary again. He flinched! He was drawn up like he just knew the knife was coming to his back. The fucker always did think the world revolved around him.
I never said anything about seeing him there while we were eating. Jeff and my friend both knew the story behind him and they are both really angry over it so I didn't want to cause a scene there. Especially when I was still questioning it being him. When we left I scanned the parking lot and found a vehicle with Alabama tags. My fears were confirmed. We got in the truck and started out the parking lot, I finally told Jeff. I had a lot of rage in my at the time. Thankfully Jeff stayed level headed and got me straight home.
For the next week his face haunted me. He was constantly on my mind. I had nightmares every night. I woke up scared. I was nervous every time a car pulled up at work. I just knew he was going to find me. I completely turned into that scared little 4 year old girl and did everything I could to avoid seeing him again.
One night I was laying in bed trying to not fall asleep because I knew I would dream about him again. My mind drifted to a conversation I had with a minister a few years ago about some rage I was feeling during my divorce. He gave me a scripture to repeat to myself whenever I felt rage boiling up. I started repeating it to myself and soon lulled myself to sleep. It was the best sleep I had since I saw Gary the week before.
I woke up the next morning and had an epiphany. It has stayed with me ever since. I am surrounded daily by people that truly love me and want nothing but the best for me. That man does NOT have a hold over me any more! I refuse to give into the fear ever again. My healing finally began.

After I read the letters he wrote her, it became important to me that someone believed me that it happened. I started trying to find the friends of my mom's that we talked to the night I told mom. They were like second parents to my brother and I growing up. We were always either at their house or their kids were at ours. We lost touch when mom left Gary.
I was finally able to locate him on one of the reunion websites. I emailed to make sure it was him. We exchanged a few emails back and forth until I got up the courage to ask him. I finally just simply asked if him and his wife believed me when I told them about it. He came back with a resounding yes! He told me that they tried everything they could to get mom to leave Gary but he had some kind of hold on her that couldn't be explained. I didn't need to hear anything else out of him about it. I immediately felt better just knowing they believed me.
I silently went about dealing with myself. Trying to get over a past I had locked away.
Late in 2004 my husband left me. After he was gone for a couple days I went to go talk to him to see if the marriage could be salvaged. He brought up the sex. Before I knew what was going on I started talking about Gary. It was like I was outside looking in and listening to myself talk. I told details of what he did to me. Then just as quick as it started to flow out of me it stopped. And it was like I woke up. I know that sounds really out there but it was so much like it wasn't me talking at all.
That night it felt like a huge weight had lifted off of me. It hit me just how dumb I was to think I could silently work on myself. I had to get it out. I never really did talk in depth about it again but I did acknowledge that it happened.
Him and I got a divorce anyway. We both knew it was over long before we hit our 15th anniversary. We stayed together because we had 2 kids to raise and just because we had nothing better to do.
I never really started to date after our divorce. I had a few one night stands when needed but I took the following years to just work out my own shit. In February of 2006 I got a phone call from Jimmy. He told me that cancer had been found and he was going in for brain surgery on the 3rd. My friend and I loaded up and headed for Alabama. It was the first time in almost 20 years I had been back there.
I was apprehensive about going. I didn't want to run into Gary or deal with any of that. It turned out to be a good trip home considering the circumstances. We took a little side trip before we left for home to visit the old friends I mentioned earlier. The ones that believed me. We talked for a little while and he told me other stories about Gary that I never knew. They were all horror stories about him beating his new wife after mom left him. He told me stories of drugs and alcohol. You name it...Gary was involved in it.
In October I was once again summoned back to Alabama. My dad was losing his battle with cancer. I never knew it was as bad as it was. He played it all off to me. I know it was because he was still trying to protect me.
The morning my flight arrived my aunt took me to see him. He was just a shell of the man he used to be. He was miserable and he was trying to hold on with every painful breath he took. I leaned down and whispered to him that it was time to stop protecting me. I told him that when he found the man to fill his shoes send him my way. My dad passed away that night. After the funeral I hopped a plane and came back home. A month later I met Jeff. It didn't take long to realize he was the one for me.

For the most part we were taken care of during our childhood. We always had what we needed and most all of what we wanted. I can't complain about any of that. There were times throughout my life that I can even say we were a family as warped as it might have been. The problem was never really dealt with by me or any one else in the family. From what I understand my brother was completely oblivious to what had happened. I'm actually happy for him that he was and probably still is oblivious.
Just before my 16th birthday I got into a lot of trouble because of a rumor that was repeated in earshot of my uncle. He told my parents. They beat the shit out of me. I don't mean bend over and let me spank you, I mean they beat the ever loving dog shit out of me. I used to have a gap between my front teeth and by the time it was over my teeth overlapped. After they were done with the beating they loaded me up and we went to my friends house so my parents could talk to her parents. Only after they talked they found out the rumor was a complete lie. It was a high school fabrication. I never got an apology from my parents or my uncle. I think they decided to just let me slide the next time I actually did something. I attempted suicide a week or so later. Hell, I even screwed that up thankfully.
On my 16th birthday I went to work with mom. Flowers were delivered there for me. (It was my first time ever receiving flowers.) I was so excited over them that I went to show my aunt and uncle when I got home. There was a man at their house that I had never met. His name was Jimmy and I was completely drawn to him. It was odd because I was very leery of men to the point I never even had a real boyfriend. I think I instinctively knew he was the man that God intended to show me what it was like to have a real dad.
My mom left Gary for Jimmy a few months later. They left town because Gary was an evil man. I was left behind to live with Jimmy's sister. That's not a bad thing because we got along great and I was able to stay near my friends. After school that year I got to move to Oklahoma with my mom and Jimmy. I entered into a part of my life that was the happiest I had ever been. As long as Jimmy was in my life I never felt insecure about my position in his life. He was always very protective of me.
After I graduated I met Travis. Like a lot of young girls I fell for an older guy. It didn't take long before I ended up pregnant with my daughter. After him and I moved in together I told him about Gary. It was the first time I talked about my past with anyone. I never went into any details. I put it in my own head that as an adult it was up to me to take responsibility for my own actions and feelings. So I slapped on a happy face and went through the motions of being a wife for him. The sex was hard for me because there were times that he would touch me and I would be reminded of Gary. It wasn't his fault but it happened. I started to withhold sex and if it wasn't withheld it was just a quickie to satisfy him so he would go away and leave me alone.
He once talked to my mom (of all people) about it. Her and I went to town one night and she brought it up to me. I just simply asked her if she ever missed Gary. She said yes sometimes and I just started to cry. She looked at me and I saw the realization hit her. She said "Oh my God! He really did do that stuff to you!" I just said yes and turned my head away from her. It was never mentioned again.
My mom passed away in 2002. I went to clean out her house and found some letters Gary had wrote her after she found out about what he did to me. It gave me a better understanding of why she stayed with him. He was so convincing in those letters that even I started to wonder whether it had really happened. I don't blame her anymore for staying with him, she was the type of woman that needed a man in her life. She did the best she could.

This will probably the hardest blog I have ever written. I realized a long time ago that when things start spinning around in my head it helps me to write it down, be it good or bad. I have spent many nights laying there writing this in my head but it doesn't seem to clear it out so I guess I just need to write it out. I need to say it for all the world to see. It's it is a tough one to write but the ending is a happy one.
Before I go any further it is important to me to say this: I in no way shape, form or fashion blame my mom or hold anything against her. She was the best mom she could be. Her and I made our peace long before she passed away.
When I was 4 my mom met a man stationed in Alabama. Shortly after she met him she married him and we moved. The marriage was very short. I don't remember a whole lot about that time other then a few parties she took us too. We lived near the military base and the man had several of his buddies over or we went to their house for the parties. There was one man there named Gary. I can remember having a big crush on him because he was cute and he played with my brother and I when he was around.
Not long into that fateful marriage my mom just disappeared. We were told she was in the hospital. We later found out that she left the man and he was basically keeping my brother and I hostage. One day mom showed up at school and took us and explained to us what was going on. She had left the man for Gary. We moved to a new house in a new town and for a time we were really happy.
Soon after mom and Gary got married he started to molest me. I remember the first time he ever touched me as if it was yesterday. I won't go into the details but I will say this, I did everything in my power to make sure I wasn't around when mom was at work and he wasn't.
One night him and mom got into a fight. He was a big man and my mom was 5' tall and weighed a whopping 100 pounds. He reached out and slapped her and my mom knocked the shit out of him. He landed across the kitchen. After I saw that and he left the house I told mom what he had been doing. She immediately took me to some close friends and had me retell it all. I remember going to a counselor one time but, it was a short meeting. A day or so after that Gary moved back home. Him and mom were together until I was 16.
There was only one time I ever heard my mom acknowledge it happening. (I can't remember how old I was but I was still young.) My brother and I were at the babysitters one night and when mom came to get us we were asleep. I heard her come in and I heard May ask mom what was wrong. I played like I was asleep because mom was crying and I was nosey. I heard mom tell May that her and Gary got into a fight and he said the only reason he touched me was because he didn't want us he only wanted her and he knew we would get taken away from her if he did it. We spent the night there that night and mom took us back home the next day.

I woke up yesterday morning with an aweful sore throat. Today it seems to have settled in my ears.

Even though I feel like shit I finally mustered up the energy to do something with the layout of this blog. I have always hated it but could never find a layout I felt suited me. I don't really know if this one does or not. Since my computer was stolen I no longer have the design tools to make it what I want it to be. I am just stuck with whatever free stuff I can find. Oh well! I will survive.

I guess since my boss has been paying me to work all day and all I have done is work on my new set up, I should probably go do something for him now. I refuse to do a whole lot but I will make it look like I got something done anyway.

1. When I was three or four I stole a dollar out of my great-grandfather's wallet. I remember talking to my mom later and showing her the dollar "I drew".

2. When the kid's dad and I went to the courthouse to get married the first time we were broke. We had just enough to pay the fees and such. We stopped at Wal Mart because his mom needed a few things. There was a display of rings just sitting there for the taking so I stole one. (Maybe that's why we didn't manage to get married that time and then when we finally did we ended up divorced three years later.)

3. When I was in my teen years I shoplifted a lot from Wal Mart. Nothing more then a few dollars at a time. And in all fairness to me I always felt guilty afterwards and took it back and got my money back.

1. I have finally found a perk to living in a small town. I don't have to prepay when I get gas. They know where I live.
2. I had to work on Mother's Day. (It was my own fault that happened.) When I got home from work my grass was mowed. I had no clue who did it but later that day my neighbor yelled Happy Mother's Day! I mowed the grass for you.
3. I get my new boss on Thursday. I'm not sure yet if that is good or bad.
4. Last night Dj was sitting on one end of the couch and I was on the other end not paying her any attention. I heard her make a noise and she said "Excuse me". Then she said something like I don't know why I just said that I didn't burp. So I felt it was my duty to say "Bless You!" She looked at me and said I didn't sneeze either, I coughed. Yeah I was busted not paying her any attention.
5. We are supposed to get one helluva storm tonight and I am tired of big storms. It needs to all go away.

Now would come the time that if you are a man and you are squeamish about "girl talk" you might want to quit reading. I wouldn't normally post this kind of thing but it's too damn funny not to.

A lot of Dj's friends look to her for advice on many different things. If she can't help them she will either ask me about it or have them talk to me. One such conversation took place yesterday. I will keep the girl's name out of it.

The girl has acquired a yeast infection. She went to Wal Mart and bought the medicine for it but hadn't read the directions yet. She started asking me questions about how to use it and all and this is how part of the conversation went.

Girl: So how do I do this?

Me: You fill the applicator and put it in you like a tampon. You do it every night before you go to bed.

Girl: (Has this shocked and scared look on her face) So I got to sleep with this plastic tube in me every night?

I have a few blogs that I regularly read. I never comment but I read daily. Then one day last week on one of them she talked about facing fears and pushing yourself to do the things you most fear. It set me to thinking.

I have a real fear of commenting to the blogs I read. I'm not sure what it is about it that scares me to death. Away from here in most any social setting I can talk to anyone. I have no problem putting myself out there and just meeting people. Why is it different here? At least online no one can reach out and bitch slap me for an off the wall comment I might make.

I posted a comment to that blog about my fear of commenting. She made me feel right at home there. I've made it a point to comment every day there ever since. (Granted it's only been two days but it sounds better the other way.)

In facing my fears I realized that if I want to make friends here I have to step out of my box and meet people. I can't expect people to seek me out and friend me. I'm going to start commenting on a post that I have a comment for. I might not become a regular but if I have something to add I will say it and if a friendship happens because I jumped out of my bubble then so much the better.

See that ring over there. I'm apparently pretty dangerous with it. Countless times Jeff has woke up with scratches all over him from me hitting him with it at night. (I can't be held accountable for things I do when I'm asleep.)

A few weeks ago we were wrestling and some how his head got over top of my left hand. I moved it and the corner of the ring got caught UNDER his eyelid. It scratched him a little but when it pulled out from under his eyelid it hurt him a lot.

Last night I was changing my shirt and I managed to scratch my damn self on my nipple. Took a nice little chunk. I'm going to wrap it in bubble wrap! (The ring...not the nipple.)

I woke up this morning with a zit on my lip! Not just on the outside of it but actually ON MY FREAKIN LIP!!

Please tell me I'm not the only one in the world this has happened to.

Those are the words my child said to me last night before she went to bed. Then she had to get back out of bed and come explain to me just what the hell was her point in trying to give me heart failure just before bedtime.

There is a group of people that goes around from school to school trying to teach teens the dangers of drunk driving. The grim reaper comes to class every 30 minutes and pulls someone out. They are given a t-shirt to wear that says "I Died. Who's Next?" Once you are dead you can NOT speak to anyone the rest of the day. (Thankfully she doesn't die until later today so she won't actually die from not talking.)

The whole thing creeped me out last night. All I wanted to do was hug her and I told her I love you twice before she went to bed after telling me. I guess that is the point of the whole thing. There is a play after everyone that is going to die has died. Dj will be covered in blood and be in an actual wrecked car. She has to tell her story or how she died. (She is freaking over that part.)

I'm pretty much over the whole weird feeling thing. I guess that is evident when she got out of the truck this morning and I told her "Have fun dying today!"

There are two men in my house on a regular basis. Jeff and a friend named Gerard. It's a nightly ritual that Gerard comes over just to have a few beers and to eat with us. I don't mind, it keeps Jeff entertained.

Dj has been like a mom to these two. She is constantly correcting them and trying to steer them in the right direction. I didn't realize until the other night when she was gone just how good her steering is. (Or better yet just how much they fear her!)

The beer comes in big boxes. We all know this. For a long time the boxes were placed neatly by the trash for Dj or I to break down and actually put in the can. She finally decided enough was enough and told the guys they HAD to start doing this themselves or meet with her unending bitching and total disdain. The second thing she really works on them about is their use of the word Fuck. Now don't get it wrong, she doesn't mind one flying from time to time but it gets bad some nights. It started out that after they would say something that had a lot of fucks in it she would say "Well fuck!" (This is the only context that I condone her use of the word in front of me.) It stunned them a bit but they eventually quit hearing her. So now every time they say it she will yell Frig!!

They other night Dj stayed at a friend's house. There was no one around to correct the guys so I figured it would be a hopeless night. They went after their beer. Gerard came back put the beer in the fridge and started breaking down the box. (I have to say here...it's the first time he ever did that.)

The beer started flowing and so did the bullshit. Gerard starts telling a story and the inevitable happened. The word fuck flew. In the background I hear Jeff yell FRIG!!!