I was going to post today about what happened Monday but I forgot today is end of the year inventory day.

I haven't started yet so I better get to it!

I hope every one has a great night tonight and have a very Happy New Year!!

It's been a pretty great week!

Christmas was about the best one I have had in years. Since my ex and I got divorced I usually spend Christmas by myself. Then Jeff came along and him and I spent it together. I believe you should be with family on the holidays so I send my kids to their dad's so they can go to the big family dinner.

This year things were a little different the whole way around. The kid's grandmother is in the hospital so there was no family dinner but the family spent the day there with her. Jeff and I got up to spend a lazy day watching movies.

About 30 minutes after I woke up we heard a honk in our driveway. We headed outside and it was a friend of ours coming by to bring a present. He had cooked a huge roast with all the trimmings for us. I sat and gorged myself on roast then laid down and fell asleep. We got a call about 4 by the same friend inviting us over to the barn to have a few drinks.

Doesn't sound so perfect but it actually was. These people were really close friends. We considered them family. Hell we got married in their barn! Back at the beginning of the year there was a bit of a falling out. I don't mean to imply that there was ever any ill words or ill intentions because there never was. Jeff and I just found it best due to some circumstances out of our control to just stay away.

There were some people that came into our lives (all four of us) that were hell bent on messing things up for everyone. We were all taken in by their lies and betrayals. It seemed at the time these people were seriously trying to destroy our credibility with each other. I guess to some degree we all fell for it instead of talking to each other and trusting our friendship.

Anyway, as of Christmas all things have been talked out and refocused and things are back on the right track. It really bothered me because I hated that it happened the way it did but it really ate on Jeff. He has known these people for years and their lose was deeply felt by him. It really made his day complete to go back to the "good ol days" of just sitting around talking and having a beer or two.

Then on to weekend. Sunday was my birthday so Dj and Bradley took me to the movies Saturday night. We saw The Tale Of Despereaux. It was ok but not the greatest kid movie I have ever saw. It was fun to just get out with the two of them and jack ass around.

I woke up Sunday morning to a big breakfast my husband cooked for me. He also baked me a cake. Dj went and got my two nieces and my nephew and they spent the day at the house playing and having fun. The rest of the day was spent just hanging out at the house doing pretty much nothing.

I took the day off Monday to go help a friend with a few things and taking Dj for her check up. I'll tell that story tomorrow because I promised Billie I would wait until she got to blog it.

I can't stand stupid people. As it turns out I am a stupid people.

I get paid twice monthly on the 8th and the 22nd. I'm not supposed to cash my check until after 3:00 pm.

I have been sitting here waiting all day for three to get here. I wanted to sneak some money to Dj when she came by so she could go pick up Jeff's Christmas present. (I could have gotten the money from him but I don't feel right buying his present with the money out of his check when I have my own.) I've been antsy as hell wanting to get it and pissed because the day has been dragging on.

Jeff just went to go get us something to eat. Before he left he said "Do you want me to cash your check while I'm out?" I told him "I'll get in trouble if I do it before three."

Yeah he informed me that today is the 23rd. I could have cashed it yesterday!

This will be another one of those that are just scattered every where.

My niece came to spend the weekend with us. She will be 2 in April. She is such a fun kid but she kind of gets put in the shadows of her older siblings. So, we like to bring her over to our house just so she can shine a little on her own. She is very well behaved for a 1 year old and sleeps so good. She takes a bottle at night and at nap time but during her waking hours she uses a cup.

We know some people that have two little boys ages 5 and 3 that are still in diapers. Dj was talking to them one night and said she needed to get home to get Alyssa a bottle and get her to bed. The bastard had the balls to say "She still takes a bottle? Now that's just bad parenting!" Dj just walked off. I wish, oh how I wish I would have been there to hear it!

She brought the box of baby wipes to Dj and threw a fit to have one. Dj gave her one and she started laughing. Alyssa went to the middle of the floor and started rubbing the wipe across her butt like she was wiping it. Then she would bend over and do this really cute deep down belly laugh. Then she would repeat the process. This wipe kept her and us entertained for almost an hour.

We had our Christmas with the kids last night. I'm a bit odd when it comes to Christmas. I don't get into the decorating and all that but, I love the buying gifts and giving them to the kids. If I have a present in the house I can't stand it, I want them to have it. So, we finished up shopping last night and then sat down and opened presents. It was fun. The kids all got everything they asked for this year.

I know there was something else I wanted to say but it has taken me all day to write this much. I've been busy around here thankfully. Who knows maybe I will remember and finsh this off tomorrow.

Every night since my kids were born, when they go to bed I say "Goodnight. I love you." I always say it in that order. I want the I love you to be the last words they hear out of my mouth before they go to sleep or go anywhere for that matter.

Last night Dj was about to go to bed and I stopped her. I asked her what I was going to do when she was all moved out and on her own and no longer came to my bed for me to love on her when she felt bad. She stopped and looked at me and said "Well, I guess your just going to have to come spend the night with me!"

She headed down the hallway to her room, then stopped and came back to say "Mom, when I move out we need to call each other every night before bed." I asked her why and she said "So we can say good night I love you!"

Dj wasn't feeling good last night. She came and crawled into bed with me because she just needed a hug and for me to make it all go away. After she got up and went back to her own bed I couldn't go back to sleep.

It kind of hit me that my kids don't really need me much anymore. They are almost grown and times of them needing me to kiss the boo boo to make it go away are getting few and far between. I miss the days when they were little and just wanted to cuddle. They still come and plop down in the chair with me from time to time but it's just really not the same as what it used to be. Most of the time it's because they have an ulterior motive.

I guess I'm just having a hard time reconciling the fact that my babies are almost adults who soon won't need me for all the little things anymore.

I just don't like it at all!

Some of Dj's friends said they were going to throw her a baby shower. Well, apparently they got sidetracked or decided not to do it. So, I'm going to do it.

I have the date and time picked and the place rented. Most of the invitations are ready to mail.

Now what?

I have only ever been to one shower before and it was many, many moons ago. I have no clue what goes on at these things.

HELP!?!?!? Please

I was sitting at work and I get a text from Dj.

"The VFW is a vet right?"

I sent back

"Yeah... it stands for Veterans of Foreign War."

A few minutes later I get:

"Female dogs get spayed right?"

It took it a second for it to soak in but I did catch her before she called the VFW to get the appointment to have her dog fixed!

I'm liable to draw some heat from this one but what the hell.

The other day Bradley shot a blue jay in our backyard. My neighbor happened to see him do it and got his knickers all in a twist about him having a gun. Now, I'm not happy about him killing the bird but lets not make a mountain out of a mole hill.

Yesterday Dj went down to the neighbors. (They have a new baby and she can't stay away.) The neighbor brought it up to her and told her how unhappy he was about him having a gun around. First, the gun stays locked up in my house when it's not being used. Second, Bradley knows gun safety and didn't shoot towards any of the houses or people around. There were no people around.

He also told Dj that he wasn't allowed to bring the gun to his house because he doesn't want his boys knowing about guns. That's not a big deal. The gun stays at my house. Hell, it's Dylan's gun, not Bradley's.

Now, where my issue with this comes in, he lives in an area that is all about the guns and hunting. (The schools close down for deer season.) The boys are going to be exposed to guns at some point. I have always felt like it's ok to have the guns but you need to educate your kids about them. Don't hide them. As soon as my kids were old enough to comprehend the impact of dealing with guns they had one in their hands learning to shoot it properly and safety.

My next issue, his kids are kind of too small to handle a gun or to understand guns but, they watch everything on tv. Violent shoot em up movies and all. They are already being exposed to them. So keeping your trap shut about the dangers of them just glorifies what they see on tv.
I feel like letting them watch it on tv and then keeping the reality of what guns can do away from them is just asking for trouble.

I can respect people's decisions to keep guns out of their homes. I can respect the fact that people don't want their children exposed to guns. It just really bothers the hell out of me when you shut down the idea of your child actually seeing a gun and what it can really do but have no problem with them watching the bad guy kill people on tv.

Because we all know that if that man on tv can get shot and come back to do another movie then my little friend Johnny will too when I find dad's gun and shoot him with it.

I know every one has bad days. But, it kind of pays to not take it out on people who didn't cause that bad day.

I just had a little redneck lady come into the store. She flew in here at me telling me that I was going to give her a damn sim card because Juan somebody or other said I would.

I politely told her "No ma'am. I'm not a corporate store so I have to charge for them." She came at me with "Well, can we call Juan and he can tell you to give it to me?" I just told her without his personal phone number there was no way we would ever get to talk to Juan again. And besides that Juan does not own this store and can not make me do anything.

I told her to go to a corporate store and then she could have it for free. She asked me where the closest one is. I told her in Sherman, Tx. She looked at me like I was stupid when I told her I only know the store is off the highway in Sherman. She said which highway? I told her "Ma'am I don't even know how to get to Sherman!"

Then she promptly informed me that she was changing to a competitor but has $5 left on her phone and she'll be damned if she is going to donate it! She slammed out of the store and seriously said "Merry Fucking Christmas!"

First, the competitor doesn't have even a small bar of service in this area. So go ahead, donate to them.

Second, the corporate store that she is going to so she don't have to pay me for that card is 85 miles away.

Third, if she had just came in and talked to me nicely, I would have given her that damn card she wanted. I've done it many times!

I have always made decisions with a no nonsense approach. I make them, then follow through and forget about it.

I realized last night I am starting to second guess myself where my daughter is concerned. I know that now the decisions I make with or for her not only affect her but her child as well.

Like last night, she came to me crying because she was hurting really bad. She started throwing up and was in a lot of pain. I got in bed with her and rubbed her back and asked her a million questions about her pain. I decided to ride it out a bit before making a dash to the ER. It turned out to be nothing so I made the right decision.

But, what if waiting wasn't the right choice. The hospital is 40+ miles away. The one that is only a couple miles away does not do babies. Waiting to see what happens could mean life or death for her or her baby. This is where all my doubts about things come in. It has been so long since I have been pregnant I don't remember much about the normal aches and pains. What if my judgement is off?

Now we have a new problem and I'm not sure where to go with it. The doctor told us on the last visit that she is RH Negative. This requires a shot that she is supposed to have next Monday. He gave her a prescription for the shot and she just tried to fill it. The pharmacy said it is a discontinued medication so they don't have it. They called a couple other places and they said the same thing.

I called the doctor and they said it's not discontinued and there is a pharmacy down the road that will fill it. Where do I go from here? If all these places say it's a discontinued drug do I allow my child to take the shot if this store has it? There has to be a reason it was discontinued. Do I trust the judgement of a doctor that doesn't know a drug he prescribed is discontinued?

All these questions and self doubt are about to drive me crazy. I'm just not used to it all.

Thursday night Jeff and I went to visit some friends we haven't seen in a long time. I ended up getting drunk but that's way beyond what I have to say. See, what the guys don't realize is that when they keep us apart for very long it takes a lot of talking and drinking to get us caught up.

We were discussing Chuck and one thing led to another. She brought up again her choice to not have children. Which led to all the shit she catches for her choice. She is always told she is selfish for not having children.

I have also read a few blogs where women or men catch it for deciding parenting isn't the right path for them.

I really need clarification on this selfish thing. How is it selfish to realize before you have children that you are not "mommy material"?

I think the least selfish thing a woman can do is recognize she is just not cut out for it before she has them. Look at how much damage people do to their children after they have them and realize "Oh shit! I have to give up way to much to take care of you!"

There are way too many women out there that want to have children but can't. There are also way to many women out there that mass procreate when they shouldn't have been allowed to have them in the first place. We end up with beaten and neglected children.

I, for one, just want to say thank you to all you "selfish" women out there that have decided to not bring children into the world that you know you just don't want. Please do not ever buy into the the bullshit you hear about having to have children. The only thing you have to do is live your life on your own terms and to hell with what every one else thinks.

I have been working on this afghan for about a month now. (The colors look a lot better in person.) I love this afghan.

The stitch is tiny on it so it is taking forever to make but it's one that you can pretty much zone out on. I've made several of them in the past.

I'm making this for a very sweet lady that I have never met but have talked to her millions of times on the phone. It's for Christmas.

I've been bitching for at least a week now that I'm busting my ass on it but it just seems to be going nowhere.

I made a decision Friday that I was going to make some headway on it this weekend. I stayed up late Friday night and made some progress. I didn't touch it Saturday because I had too much other stuff to do. But, I got to work first thing on it Sunday morning. I watched movies all day and worked on it. It finally looked like I was finally getting some where with it.

Then it happened. I realized that somewhere I was one stitch off. See, I am a perfectionist when it comes to crochet. I can't just fix it by adding here or dropping there. Something in me makes me HAVE to go back and fix it.

This is how much I had to pull out. The mess up occurred Friday night.

I'm so upset with myself for screwing up that I'm having a damn hard time picking it back up again to fix it.

A couple of bizarre things go on around here on a regular basis. I've wanted to talk about each of them a few times but they don't qualify for a full post. Then I got the bright idea to mention them in one post.

Aren't you lucky?

I started working here two years ago. Every day there is a man that walks down the road in front of the store several times a day. I have only ever seen him walking east, never west. He has worn the same clothes for two years. Same T-shirt and jeans. Well I don't know if the jeans are the same but they appear the same.

During the winter he will shake it up and add a flannel coat and a red hat. I just find him odd.

Odd man #2 is even more odd then #1. My store is right beside a doughnut shop. Both buildings are owned by the same man so they look similar. Not the same but similar. My store is a branded store. Our logo is everywhere out front and on the building. I get several customers coming in looking for doughnuts. I am told they get several customers looking for me.

That's not the bizarre part. There is a man that comes to my door every morning at 9:30 am. He walks up, pulls the door just to the point it dings, then he closes it and walks next door to the doughnut shop. Every morning!

I want to find a bizarre habit. I want to be those men. Well, without all that walking.