It happened almost a month ago. The world as I know it kind of came crashing down around me. My husband left me. We had a small fight the night before because of something he said. He told me that he loves me and he knows that all he does lately is hurt me so he felt it best he leave.

Things kind of went down hill from there for me. I can't stand to be alone but right now I can't stand to have people around me either. Every day brings something new for me to deal with and I just don't quite know how to deal with everything.

Yesterday something happened that really made me face reality. It hit me that it was time for me to face the true facts and not the facts as I wanted them to be. I had to call my counselor and when I told her what was going on she didn't pull any punches. She made me realize that I have put a protective wall around him and it should be around me. I'm so worried about how he is doing that I haven't taken the time to worry about me.

I took a big step after we talked. He called me and I ignored his call. He called me five or six more times and I ignored those calls as well. He finally text me and I told him I couldn't talk to him about what was going on because it is just me getting my hopes up again only to be let down. The day ended on a good note. I felt a little empowered.

Today is a bad day.